Development of Self-Concept in Diverse Students (continued)

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Conflict Resolution Conflict resolution abilities are important for managing students’ personal and interpersonal aggressive feelings. Conflict resolution refers to programs encouraging students to resolve disputes peacefully outside traditional school disciplinary procedures (Conflict Resolution Education Network, 2000, p. 27). Schools with conflict resolution programs teach, model, and incorporate the processes and problem-solving skills of mediation, negotiation, and collaboration. Fundamental to such programs is the idea that the disputing parties solve the problem themselves. Peer mediation is the most common type of conflict resolution process, having students act as neutral third parties to resolve disputes. This is most effective in middle school and to some extent in upper elementary grades. Components of conflict resolution can be used effectively with younger children. The Conflict Resolution Education Facts section of the Conflict Resolution Education Network website is a useful source of information on conflict resolution.

Conflict resolution requires specific skills: knowing how to listen, empathizing, reasoning analytically, thinking creatively, and understanding another person’s viewpoint. Generally, six steps are followed:

1. Agree to meet and set ground rules.
2. Gather information about the conflict.
3. Identify what the dispute is really about.
4. Suggest possible options for resolution of the dispute.
5. Select one or more workable options.
6. each agreement (Conflict Resolution Education Network, 2000, p. 27).

Conflict resolution programs support school polices to prevent violence by teaching skills and processes for solving problems before they escalate into violence. Such programs help students develop personal behavior management skills, act responsibly in the school community, and accept the consequences of their own behavior. Students develop fundamental competencies, such as self-control, self-respect, empathy, and teamwork, that are necessary throughout life. Students learn to respect others as individuals and as members of a group. Finally, students learn how to build and maintain responsible and productive intergroup relations (Conflict Resolution Education Network, 2000).

Bullying Bullies are unhappy children who likely make poor social and academic progress. Proactive strategies must be used with bullies and their victims. Students are bullied because of (Bullying Online, www.bullying.co.uk/schools/helpingthevictim.php):

• Weight
• Hair color
• Their schoolwork
• If they work hard
• If they are a different religion, color, or culture
• If they have dyslexia or dyspraxia
• Looks
• Their family
• If they are not popular
• If they have a disability
• If they wear glasses or a hearing aid
• If they've been off school due to illness

When dealing with a student who is being bullied, it is important to remember that the student will be very upset, although it might not show on the outside. If the student has found the courage to talk to you, then he or she needs to know you will take the problem seriously. How you react and respond to that student may make the difference between resolving the issue or allowing misery to continue that could affect the rest of the student’s school life.

Students must be taught guidelines for protecting themselves from bullying:

• Tell a trusted adult about the bullying, and be persistent until the adult takes action.
• Tell a staff member at your school if the harassment is school related. Schools have bullying policies in place.
• Save threatening e-mail or written or text messages in case action must be taken later.
• Never agree to meet alone with the bully.
• If possible, block the bully from your chat or instant messaging accounts.
• If you are threatened with violence, inform the local police.

Teachers try to get students who might be bullies to recognize that any of the following behaviors indicates they are a bully:

• There’s a boy or girl (or maybe more than one) whom you’ve repeatedly shoved, punched, or physically pushed around in a mean way just because you felt like it.
• You had someone else hurt someone you don’t like.
• You’ve spread a nasty rumor about someone in conversation, in a note, or through e-mail or instant messaging.
• You and your friends consistently have kept one or more kids from hanging out or playing with you.
• You’ve teased people in a mean way, calling them names or making fun of their appearance or the way they talk or dress or act.
• You’ve been part of a group that did any of these things, even if you only wanted to be part of the crowd (Stop Bullying Now! http://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?area=main).

Bullies must be told that their behavior will not be tolerated and must be taught ways to control angry impulses (e.g., talking oneself out of a quick reaction, deciphering behavioral cues that tell how someone else is feeling, and experiencing logical consequences from bullying).

How to Intervene When You See Bullying. When you see bullying occurring, immediately step in and stop it. Identify the bullying behavior and say that it is against school rules (e.g., “Name calling is bullying and is against school rules”). Then, support the bullied child so he or she can regain self-control. Help the child save face, if needed. Include bystanders in the conversation and give them guidance about how they could intervene or get help in the future. Do not require students to apologize or make amends in the heat of the moment. As appropriate, impose immediate consequences on the bully (e.g., take away lunch in the cafeteria). Let students know you are watching them and their friends. Notify your colleagues. Do not require the students to meet together to work things out. Give bullied students some time to process the event and vent (Stop Bullying Now! http://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?area=main). Assist victims by supporting verbal assertiveness so that they establish their desires and protect their rights. Assertiveness training reduces bullying. It helps to teach children how to appear more confident and how to interpret social cues. Also, helping children form friendships reduces their victimization.