Don't Just Take Away the Xbox: Psychiatrist

What is reality?

"Now disconnect the computer or console. You have summarily dismissed those accomplishments - the fantasy, the power, and that alternate life, heavily invested in (and mind you sometimes that alternate life may seem a whole lot better than the Real one). Now take it a step further: If someone could so easily destroy such an important thing that, although Virtual, seemed quite Real, isn't it also possible that our flesh-and-blood reality is yet another deception or illusion? To gamers - given the story lines they 'live' in - this is not as far-fetched as it may sound. Philosophers and religious leaders have discussed this for hundreds of years. It does sound pretty disturbing (or disturbed) - the concept that we might not actually exist but are, instead, merely some other being's dream or, as Oxford philosopher Nick Bostrom recently wondered, merely simulations running in a simulated society? Such concepts can sound bizarre, but when in history have people actually been able to live them in very real-seeming environments - on so massive a scale, and at such young ages? More than 10 million people worldwide regularly play World of Warcraft, and that's just one such environment/game. I doubt the concept that life might actually be yet another illusion is hardly foreign to WoW's players. It is actually commonplace enough, the subject of numerous films (e.g., The Matrix) and even parody (the Onion's 'World of World of Warcraft' video).

"What I am getting at, here, is that - whatever your philosophy happens to be about how we define 'reality' - I believe the more one starts to believe he or she exists only as a piece of code running in some meta-computer (as some of my patients have done), the less valuable life becomes - your own life, others' lives, and the ethics by which you live. If one's life isn't real and one is just a puppet in some meta-being's 'game,' then it can come to feel like what one does in Real Life doesn't matter much.

Understanding the gamer's needs

"These are some of the risks of abruptly stopping computer or videogame use. As for treatment, one option is to cut someone off in the context of an extended (2+ weeks) camp where he or she is left physically or mentally exhausted. In doing so, you are wisely substituting rewards in the Real for those being lost in the Virtual. For example, at a well-structured camp, there are not an extra 30 hours to fill each week after work or school, and people form relationships with others who are enduring the same hardships. If it sounds something like boot camp in the military ... well, depending on your age, that is a therapeutic option worth considering.

"The alternative to 'cutting the cord' is to talk with the person and try to understand his perspective. Maybe he thinks his gaming is more helpful than harmful, maybe not a problem at all. So, first come to understand what the patient feels. If you feel the computer use is counterproductive and she doesn't, discuss why the two of you seem unable to understand one another's perspectives. Nothing will happen until she becomes motivated to change herself. If, eventually, the patient comes to believe as you do - that the computer or game use is excessive and destructive - then you can try to agree on goals to cut back on it. Part of that discussion will entail trying to address what needs the computer was satisfying and what one can do instead.

"The process tends to be very gradual - progress is measured in weeks or months - and it is therapy-intensive. Obviously, it is not the 'quick fix' that we want and need. What do I suggest parents do? I don't honestly know. If it were my child, I would first start by setting limits. I would avoid cutting him off from his technology for more than a few consecutive days and would avoid using computer restrictions punitively. If limit-setting failed and the compulsive play got worse, I would punt and take him to see a therapist."