Families and Gifted Children

Parenting for optimal development must include the health and living habits of the mother-to-be, even prior to conception. Researchers are finding clues to competent functioning in the prenatal, perinatal, and postnatal periods of human development. We must be aware of and use the sensitive and critical periods for development during the fetal period and the early years of life. The use of such periods for learning may make the difference between average and gifted performance. At the very least, we can use current information to guide our children toward becoming healthier, more intellectually able, more sensitive, and more motivated, self-directed learners. If the family of each child were to use what is now known about nurturing human bodies and minds, how very different our world would be.

Children may begin to show abilities ahead of their same-age playmates. For example, if a 3-year-old shows abilities typical of a 4- or 4 ½ -year-old or if a child of 4 shows abilities typical of a 5- or 6-year-old, the child may be considered gifted in those areas of ability because he or she is showing abilities that add ¼ to ½ of his or her actual age (Robinson, 1993). Early development of language skills, including reading, is perhaps the easiest to spot; however, advanced reasoning skills, a long attention span, and an unusual amount of imagination, curiosity, or risk taking could also be a sign of an accelerating neural system. Gifted children typically exhibit a high energy level, need less sleep, and engage in more complex activities at an earlier age. Time for both group activities and individual pursuits needs to be provided.

The family plays an important role in creating integrated growth. In the 1970s, Satir (1972) found that problem children often come from problem families, whereas healthy, open, highly functional, well-integrated children come from nurturing families. Although her work began with therapeutic counseling for problem families, she developed a framework to guide families who seek to develop family structures that can enhance the growth of each family member. In her ideal family, she finds that:

We have adults who clearly show their own uniqueness, who demonstrate their power, who clearly show their sexuality, who demonstrate their ability to share through understanding, kindness and affection, who use their common sense, who are realistic and responsible. (p. 228)

She believed such a family to be an open system. This is in opposition to a closed system, where self-worth is secondary to power and performance. In a closed system, rules are created and enforced by the boss (usually the father), who knows what is best for all, and change is resisted because it is believed that there is only one way to do things—the right way. Satir believed that human beings couldn’t flourish in a closed system; they may barely exist. We are concerned with more than just existing; we are discussing optimizing human potential to help children become self-actualizing.

Helping children grow so that they can make the most of their potential should always be a concern for the family, the child’s first teachers. Although all children have very different personalities, preferences, and abilities, there are some general rules and strategies that have been shown to help support young children in their pursuit of whom they are and whom they are to become.

• Allow time to develop understanding and empathy among family members.
• Develop open communication among family members as they listen and respond to each other.
• Express pleasure for the accomplishments of each family member without comparison.
• Involve young children in planning and carrying out family trips or activities and in making family decisions as far as each child is able, with each person’s contribution seen as valuable to the whole family.

As early as 1955, Pressey admonished educators and families to create genius. Pressey’s plan is still thought provoking today (Pressey, 1964). He studied the careers of eminent European musicians in the nineteenth century and American athletes in the twentieth century. He suggested that the following factors are important to their development and possibly to the development of all special talent or ability:

• Excellent early opportunities for ability to develop with encouragement from family and friends;
• Superior early and continuing guidance and instruction;
• Frequent and continuous opportunity to practice and extend their special abilities and to progress as they are able;
• Close association with others of similar ability;
• Opportunities for real accomplishment within their capabilities, but with increasing challenge; and
• Provision for strong success experiences and recognition of these successes.

Although genius may not result, there is every reason to believe that a level of giftedness may be attainable for a great many children. Although Pressey’s comments grew from logical theorizing, we now have evidence to support his conclusions. The new knowledge comes from data showing us the responsiveness of the central nervous system (CNS), including the brain, to environmental demands and from new discoveries concerning the plasticity and propensities inherent in the early brain. Dendrites on human brain cells will shrivel and the cortex will grow thinner with lack of experiences and opportunities for mental activity. By increasing the level of environmental stimulation and challenge, we can increase the branching of the dendrites and cortical thickness. A thicker cortex means a smarter brain (Diamond, 1998).

In 1982, Bloom reported results of an important study that validated and extended the 1964 thesis of Pressey that giftedness and high levels of talent are created. Just as Pressey suggested, individuals who had attained “world class” status in a variety of fields could not have actualized their gifts and talents without the encouragement, support, and environmental opportunities provided by their family and teachers. Genius indeed cannot “will out” in spite of circumstances, but must be developed, perhaps even created.

Whatever the original “gifts,” without extremely favorable supporting and teaching circumstances over more than a decade they would not have been likely to reach the levels of attainment for which they were selected. . . . The most striking finding in talent development is the very active role of the family, selected teachers, and sometimes the peer group in supporting, encouraging, teaching, and training the individual at each of the major stages in his or her development. (Bloom, 1982, p. 511)

Of major interest in the findings is the power of the family’s belief in the child. The family that believes the child has special ability will hold different expectations of the child, allow more opportunities for the child to develop the ability, and treat the child differently. Even if the child is, in fact, not significantly more able than others in the family, these beliefs and expectations cause the family, teachers, and the child to do things that result in the given ability reaching an outstanding level. Bloom (1982) found that only one child in each family tends to be chosen for exceptional development in a given ability—not necessarily the most able child, but the one with the greatest desire to excel.

It was further discovered that it is “the values and interests of the parents that will determine which traits and qualities will be given great encouragement and further cultivation and which traits and qualities will be ignored” (Bloom, 1982, p. 520). Contrary to previously held belief, Bloom found that the children received opportunities and encouragement first, and only later were they seen to possess special ability. The following factors seem to be most important in identifying and developing special ability:

• Families who greatly value and enjoy music, the arts, sports, and/or intellectual activity and view this as a natural part of life so that the child learns to speak its language;
• Families who believe in the work ethic;
• A first teacher who is warm and loving, makes lessons seem like games, instructs on a one-to-one basis, and includes parental interest;
• A second teacher who emphasizes skills and self-discipline and continues to individualize instruction; and
• Access to a master teacher who opens doors.

From this study, we find more evidence for the importance of making early learning opportunities and encouragement available.

Data continue to show that most human beings are born with enormous potential. However, three characteristics seem to be necessary to achieve at high levels: an unusual willingness to do great amounts of work, a determination to do one’s best at all cost, and the ability to learn rapidly. These traits emerge from early socialization and attitudes in the home, exposure to varied and numerous opportunities and experiences, and the early training provided by teachers at home and at school. The evidence that learning rates can be altered by appropriate educational and environmental conditions suggests that providing very favorable learning conditions in the early years can markedly influence learning rate. The rate of learning is an expression of advanced and accelerated brain development, an indicator of a high level of developing intelligence (Diamond, 1998; Hawkins, 2004; Siegel, 1999).

It should be noted that within the home there are natural teachers. Others cannot equal the knowledge of and concern for the child. With a few learning tools at their disposal, family members can play a major part in their child’s early education. Attitude is a most important ingredient in any learning situation. We must approach learning with a spirit of adventure and playfulness. Learning should be a joy, not a punishment; a favor, not a duty. Family members can ensure this attitude if they allow the child’s natural curiosity to guide the task.

As early as 1980, research confirmed that the amount of time families spend playing with their preschoolers is directly related to an increase in verbal intelligence test scores (Falbo & Cooper, 1980). Families of gifted children read to their children three times as long each day as do families of children who are not gifted. They encourage language development, encourage freedom, and expose their children to a variety of experiences, including the arts, nature walks, and natural history museums. They engage in school-related activities six times more frequently than do the families of those who are not gifted (Karnes, Shwedel, & Steinberg, 1984). Snowden and Christian (1999) reported that families of young gifted children provided choices and exposure to a variety of experiences that furthered these children’s cognitive, social, emotional, psychomotor, and communicative development.

In a study on parental style (Stanford study, 1986) the researchers found that children of authoritarian parents are not as successful in school as are the children of parents who use a more authoritative style. The researchers described authoritarian parents as ones who “attempt to shape, control, and evaluate the behaviors and attitudes of their children in accord with an absolute set of standards” (p. 3). In contrast, authoritative parents set clear standards, while recognizing children’s rights, expecting mature behavior, and fostering a healthy share of verbal exchange. Additionally, it was found that placing too much emphasis on either punishing or rewarding children for grades results in lower performance and less internal motivation for the child. The study found that the correlation between parenting style and success in school crosses ethnic boundaries and would be true of interactions with any person who is the caregiver.