Kids With Healthy Self-Esteem Less Materialistic

What This Means to You

Kids who feel good about themselves are not only less materialistic, they also seem to have an easier time handling conflicts and resisting negative pressures. They tend to smile more readily and enjoy life. These kids are more likely to be realistic and generally optimistic.

Here are some simple ways to boost kids' self-esteem at any age:

• Call attention to any negative comments kids make about themselves. Point out things that they should feel good about instead - friends, a supportive family, special skills, or successes and efforts in school and sports.
• Give positive, accurate feedback and keep criticism constructive. Never name-call, berate, or belittle.
• Provide honest praise whenever it's called for — but don't overdo it. Kids can tell when you aren't being sincere.
• Be a positive role model by nurturing your own self-esteem. Don't be too hard on yourself, pessimistic, or unrealistic about your abilities and limitations.
• Identify and redirect inaccurate beliefs that can set kids up for failure. If a child says, "I can't do math. I'm a bad student," a helpful response might be: "You are a good student. Math is just a subject that you need to spend more time on. We'll work on it together."
• Keep the affection coming. Give tons of spontaneous hugs and make a habit of telling your kids you're proud of and love them.
• Create a safe, nurturing home environment. Kids who repeatedly see or hear their parents argue may become depressed and withdrawn. And use positive discipline like time-outs and removal of privileges rather than spanking.

Of course, some kids might need a little more help than others to build healthy, positive self-esteem, especially during the often emotionally tough teen years. Talk to your doctor or a mental health professional if you're concerned.

As the holidays approach, kids of all ages can feel better about themselves by helping others and showing just how much they care. To put the kibosh on cravings for material things and reinforce the real reason for the season, teach your kids to:

• Make a constructive contribution (volunteering, mentoring, or tutoring a classmate). Not only can this boost kids' self-esteem and help them be more appreciative of what they have, it also can show them that giving of their time, effort, and kindness is so much more rewarding than just expecting to receive mountains of material goods.
• Give gifts with meaning — homemade presents, donations in loved one's names, gifts of their time ("coupons" for free car washes, specially prepared meals, babysitting services, etc.).
• Create new family traditions and renew old ones that focus more on the togetherness and warmth of this time of year rather than on the "things."
• Be savvy consumers. Talk to kids about what they think of products being advertised or why they put certain items on their likely ever-increasing wish lists. Ask questions like, "Do you think you need that product?" and "Do you think that product will make you happy?".

Reviewed by: Steven Dowshen, MD Date reviewed: November 2007

Source: "Growing Up in a Material World: Age Differences in Materialism in Children and Adolescents," Journal of Consumer Research, Dec. 2007.