Media Safety: Guidelines for Internet Use

Follow These Guidelines for Internet Use

• Spend time online with your children. Learn how they use the Internet and talk to them about their use.
• Keep the computer where everyone can see it, for example, in the living room or family room. This helps you monitor children's use.
• Monitor your children's involvement in chat rooms.
• Find out what online safety policies are in place at school. Lobby to have safeguards put in place if they don't exist.
• Survey the Internet sites your children have visited by clicking on your Internet server's "history button."
• Consider getting a software or online filtering program that blocks sites that aren't suitable for children.

It can also be helpful to maintain access to your children's accounts so that if you become concerned about their online behavior, you can check their email now and again. Since this entails a privacy issue, let your children know that you will do this to monitor their safety. Discuss the circumstances under which you would feel the need to check.

• Make Explicit Agreements with Your Children About Internet Use
• Agree on which Web sites they are allowed to visit.
• Agree on the length of time they can be online.
• Agree on a set of rules.
• Agree ahead of time to consequences for not following agreements and rules.

Include the following basic rules in your agreement with your children.

• Never give out personal information (name, age, address, phone) or use a credit card online without your permission.
• Never share their passwords with anyone, including friends.
• Never arrange to meet in person someone they met online unless you agree and go with them.
• Never reply to uncomfortable messages they receive. Always tell you when they receive any.
• Never download games without your permission.
• Never download pictures from an unknown source.

It can be helpful to write down the agreement in the form of a contract and have each child sign it. It is also important to watch for the warning signs below.

Teach Your Children About the Dangers

When your children begin to use the Internet independently, especially chat rooms and email, they will need to understand the following:

• Online information is not private. Others can get access to any information shared online.
• People they meet online may not be who they say they are.
• What they learn online may or may not be true. They need to ask for your help in deciding whether a Web site is to be trusted.
• Computer sex offenders deliberately pose as children or teens. They seek to earn children's trust by showing interest and listening to their problems.
• Many Internet sites host pornographic materials. Children may come across these sites by accident. And since it is easy to gain access to these sites, they are also easy to find.

Warning signs that a child may have been exposed to a computer sex-offender or inappropriate online activity:

• Spends long periods of time online in the evenings.
• Has or hides pornography or suspicious sexual material on the computer.
• Receives phone calls from people you don't know, or makes calls to numbers you don't recognize.
• Frequently turns off the monitor or changes screens when you come in the room.
• Uses someone else's account.
• Withdraws from family life and interactions.

As with warning signs for sexual abuse, these behaviors don't necessarily mean that your child is in contact with an offender, but they are signs that you need to investigate and more closely monitor your child's online activity. If your child becomes a victim of online sexual abuse, it is important to remember that just as with other forms of sexual abuse, it is not his or her fault.