Parenting: Best Practices for Raising Children (continued)

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Parenting Styles

In the mid-1960s, psychologist Diana Baumrind began a longitudinal study investigating the effects of different styles of parenting. Her follow-up studies, and the many similar studies conducted by other researchers, have strongly influenced how parents and professionals think about parenting. The research has identified four distinct styles of parenting that represent the different combinations of high and low parental warmth combined with high and low parental control (Baumrind, 1973, 1991; Maccoby & Martin, 1983). Below describes the four parenting styles in terms of warmth and control. Let's look more closely at these styles. As we describe each style, consider what might happen if a 4-year-old child is caught hitting his sister. Ask yourself: What would you (or your parents) do in a situation like this?

Authoritative parents are warm and exert firm control. They monitor their children closely and have clear standards and high expectations for their behavior. They tend to use disciplinary methods that are supportive rather than punitive. There is clear communication between parent and child, and the lines of communication go both ways. Authoritative parents listen carefully to their children, and they allow give-and-take on disciplinary matters in a way that is age appropriate for the child. If their 4-year-old hits another child, their first response is likely to sit with the child and have a calm discussion about the incident. "Why did you hit her?" Authoritative parents are understanding and supportive ("We know you were frustrated and angry"), but they will set boundaries for their children and institute appropriate consequences if the child does not behave ("You know the family rule is 'no hitting,' so now you will lose your TV time"). The important point is that authoritative parents are rational, consistent, and child centered in their approach to discipline.

Over time, authoritative parents expect their children to develop the ability to regulate their own behavior. Compared to other children, children raised by authoritative parents perform better in school, are less hostile and more popular among friends, have greater self-esteem, show more purpose and independence in their activities, and as adolescents they are more accurate in understanding their parents' values (Baumrind, 1973, 1991; Knafo & Schwartz, 2003; Parke & Buriel, 1998).

Authoritarian parents also exert firm control, but they do it in a way that is rejecting or unresponsive to the child. "No hitting!" they might yell. "What were you thinking!? Now you get over here right now!" Authoritarian parents set firm limits and expect that their children will behave. Their disciplinary methods tend to be harsh and punitive. Rather than having a rational discussion of an incident, they are more inclined to lower the boom immediately without regard for the child's perspective. Children raised in an authoritarian environment may feel trapped and angry but afraid to confront their parents (Parke & Buriel, 1998). They perform less well in school, are more hostile and aggressive and less popular with peers, and are less independent than children reared by authoritative parents (Baumrind, 1973).