Parenting Teens: Raising an Independent Thinker

What You Need to Know 

Establishing open communication is the number one tried and true method of enabling your child to better think for himself and make wise choices of his own.

You should nurture your child's own decision-making processes to build:

• self-esteem
• confidence
• self-discipline

How You Can Help

• Use “feeling”  words instead of “command” words in conversation with your child.
• Always respond as the adult – don't drop to your child's emotional level of yelling,  whining, or groaning in frustration.
• Establish a foundation that lets your child know he can always comes to you to talk by talking with – not talking at – your child.
• Ask your child's views about music, politics, news stories, and education – take his ideas seriously, and really listen to them.
• Be genuine, focus on positive accomplishments, and give praise from the heart.
• Don't be offended when your child seeks advice from friends before coming to you, and don't try to prevent him from listening to them. Encourage him to talk about the advice he's received before deciding what's best.
• Talk through decision making with your child. Discuss possible choices and weigh each outcome. Help your child identify what has and hasn't worked for him in the past. Have him recall how he felt when he knew he was making the right choice, and have him revisit his options after some time (hours, days, weeks) passes. Remind your child that not all choices are black and white – sometimes there are compromises, and there are always other options.
• Let your child know, if he has made a poor decision, that everyone makes mistakes but should view them as lessons to learn from.
• Allow your teen to have a role in defining appropriate behavior, creating rules, and establishing consequences. Then be consistent about implementing the rules.
• Try and remember what it was like when you were your child's age to establish realistic expectations of what your child is capable of living up to. You grew into a pretty swell grown-up – your child will do the same in due time.

For more on this topic, please see the full article:

http://www.education.com/magazine/article/How_Raise_Independant_Thinker/