Tips for Parents: Teaching the Use of Humor to Cope with Stress

Dan Holt discusses ways to help parents help their students gain a new perspective on life by teaching ways of seeing humor in the world and using that humor to cope with stress.

Stress and beauty are both in the eye of the beholder. Life itself causes stress because we continually have to respond to the everyday demands of life and consciously decide what to do and how to feel in every situation. According to Selye, who at the request of the World Health Organization during the First International Symposium on Stress in Stockholm in 1971 gave the following definition of stress:

“Stress is the nonspecific response of the body to any demand”

Humor and stress are both phenomenon which, in order to be understood, must be examined and evaluated from various, interrelated perspectives. Interestingly both humor and stress have negative and positive aspects, neither of which can be ignored or considered in isolation one from the other. Humor in the work environment, whether that is school or the office, is becoming recognized as a vital part of increasing creative solutions to problems and reducing the negative effects of stress.

A long time ago it was proposed that coping consists of three processes. Primary appraisal is the process of perceiving a threat…seeing the tiger. Secondary appraisal is the process of bringing to mind a potential response to the threat…run or fight. Coping is the process of executing that response…taking an action as in running! A fourth response could be added, that of effectiveness appraisal to determine if the coping strategy was/is successful or if additional action must be taken…am I running fast enough? The cycle then starts over on a continuing basis until the stressor is negated. Of course, this is an over simplification of the process. It is an entire set of repeated and often overlapping cycles…in some cases creating an even more stressful situation for the person. Coping effectiveness is the relation between coping and some outcome measure, whether physical or mental health. There is no clear consensus as to which coping strategies or modes of coping are most effective, that is, how well a coping strategy serves to resolve problems, prevent future difficulties, or relieve emotional distress. The few studies that have examined the relations of coping to some outcome measure have produced inconsistent results.

Every child is the product of his/her interaction with the various influences he/she encounters during daily living.  Gifted students are notorious for being able to see and aptly point out the inequalities in life and society. They are very concerned with issues of justice and fair play. Several characteristics of gifted children relate to humor. Various social, moral, and ethical issues can be addressed and explored through humor. Humor can open a safe window through which the child can observe, understand and enjoy the human condition with all its imperfections. Humor allows for, even encourages, an enhanced awareness of the world, its passions and its various juxtapositions. Humor is a natural way to cope with stress.

An advanced sense of humor is a part of the definition of gifted children. It is partly because of their fast language skills and better awareness of their surroundings that they can understand and appreciate the humor, but it is also because of their knowledge base. Of course, some students will use humor as a defense mechanism.

Students need positive methods of dealing with deep, and often depressing, issues of life. Humor is natural and involved in almost every aspect of life. It is a universal part of the human experience. Positive humor can be the “safety valve” which allows the experience of life to continue, yet keeps the stress of existence from growing to unbearable levels.

Stress can help students successfully deal with the events of life and in so doing it can become an important source of self-confirmation. Successfully dealing with various stressors gives students an indication of self-control and personal power. Too much or too little stress, however, can be harmful to the well-being of the student and detrimental to personal development.

Learning is fun…or rather; it is supposed to be fun. Remember the laughter of the baby that learns something new or one of those “ah-ha” experiences you have had? It is contagious and feels great. In fact, laughter from positive humor is healthy for the body and the spirit. In order to practice, teach, and encourage positive humor in the classroom or home you need to understand it. The more you understand positive humor the more likely it is that you will create a happy, secure environment where it will be both safe and fun to learn.

Learning involves the complete self, including emotions. Research is proving that we must pay attention to the whole student, not just the logical/reasoning aspect.