Letting Kids Be Kids

They're Just Kids

I wish I could say these scenarios are fiction, but they are simply fictionalized versions of all-too-common examples of parents who place far too much emphasis on their children's athletic achievements. What is the cause of this overemphasis? First, it can stem from the parents' own attitudes, either they were successful and driven athletes who want to see the same from their own children or they are frustrated "weekend warriors" living out their own dreams of glory through their children.

Competitiveness is introduced far too young in many sports. Aspiring players are either cut or relegated to the bench while their bodies and their abilities are still developing. Even the children who will never grow into athletic success need to be given the opportunities and encouragement to find personal bests, to experience small successes, to feel part of a team. One of the most rewarding sights for parents is to see the interplay among teammates when it's done right - kids who may not actually socialize with each usually, who may not even like each other, can really warm your heart when you see them supporting each other on the field, the track or the court. Being a fair, supportive, equal part of a team can be superb preparation for all kinds of things life will bring as children grow into adulthood and take their places in society. Taught properly, by coaches and parents, every member of the team can be made to feel that he or she has the responsibility to look after the good of the team, to make his or her best contribution and to be unfailingly respectful of his or her teammates.

In the meantime, kids still need to be kids. They need to play. They need to be praised for trying their best and for putting themselves "out there." In no other part of their childhood do we expect them to have adult motivations and success, but too often, in the sports arena, we expect just that.

As parents and coaches, we have been entrusted with the incredible gift and awesome responsibility of being part of the "making" of the men and women whom our children will become. They have the rest of their lives to learn to absorb the hits of losing and the thrills of winning; how about a little consideration while they are young?

Nancie Menapace is a middle school English teacher in Camp Hill, Pa., and has, over the course of her son's elementary and middle school sports careers, served as team mom on numerous occasions. She can be reached at nmenapace@cvschools.org.