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Special Focus: Child Survivors (page 2)

By D.H. Granello|P.F. Granello
Pearson Allyn Bacon Prentice Hall
Updated on Jul 20, 2010

Survivors: Making Self-Care a Priority

Following a suicide, it is very important for survivors to allow themselves to have both the care and support of others as well as engaging in deliberate efforts at self-care. Trying to be "brave" or to deny emotions associated with the suicide death is not admirable or healthy. Using support systems to communicate feelings and thoughts about the suicide (although typically extremely difficult) can eventually help with healing. Here is a list of suggestions which can help suicide survivors in their grieving:

  • Talk about the suicide. Do not pretend that it did not happen or use some euphemism to describe it. John hanged himself he did not "pass into the great beyond."
  • Allow yourself to feel the full range of feelings associated with the suicide: shock, anger, sadness, happiness, guilt-all the feelings that come to you. Do not be ashamed if you have strong feelings or feelings that seem inappropriate at first.
  • Communicate with supportive others about how you are feeling. Try to listen to how others are feeling as well. Your feelings are normal and need expression. Use a journal or artwork to express yourself.
  • Go ahead and tell the story of the suicide as many times as you need to hear yourself say it. It might not make any more logical sense to you than it does telling it the first time, but the story is real, and you can acknowledge the tragic nature of it.
  • Reflect on the loss of the loved one. Allow yourself time to grieve. It is okay to be generous to yourself and feel the loss.
  • Find a supportive counselor, therapist, or self-help group for coping with the depression, feelings of helplessness, and grief. It is okay to seek help following an event of this magnitude.
  • Do not give up habits, activities, or plans that you have made that are normally pleasurable to you. Continue to live your life, finding meaning in your loved ones, activities, and vocation.
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