Tips for Talking to Your Teen

What You Need To Know

Most parents are uncomfortable talking to their kids about sex, drugs, and other tough subjects. But if parents want open communication with their children, they need to overcome these feelings and learn how to maximize discussion time. Building strong connections with kids depends on communicating with them.

How You Can Help

Many agencies and other centers offer parents tips for effectively communicating with their kids. Some of these follow:

1. Preparation. Before the topics ever come up, anticipate what your kids will want to talk about. Work with other adults to brainstorm probable topics, discuss appropriate responses, and role play to work out the nerves. You can also keep a journal and draft conversation starters.
2. Values. Define your values and be clear about them. Your kids may not hold the same beliefs, but they need a strong beacon as a starting point. For example, if you are discouraging them from graffiti and other acts of vandalism, explain that you respect private property and worry about the cost of removing the messages.
3. Initiate. Sometimes parents wait for their kids to have questions, but kids need adults to lead the way. Use teachable moments to ask open-ended questions and listen actively to your kids’ perspectives. When your child tells you about an assembly on the dangers of tobacco, say, “I thought it was cool to smoke when I was young. What’s the attitude among your friends?”